It's been another good week overall. Had a few challenges, but honestly did not want to drink.
My first was while making dinner one night. We decided to have brats. I've always prepared brats simmered in beer. Old habit was to use a good beer, pour a half a bottle over brats and drink the other half. My husband needed to go pick up the kids and I was left to prepare dinner by myself. I grabbed one of his beers left over from the weekend and opened it. Not gonna lie, I love opening a bottle and hearing the escape of air. Doesn't matter if it's beer or soda. I poured half over the brats and sat the beer down. Then I picked it back up. No, I wasn't really tempted to drink it, I just looked at it and thought how odd it was that I really didn't have the temptation to take a drink. Being that it was Bus Light helped. I was, however, uncomfortable leaving it half full. Thought for a moment and then cranked the heat and poured it all in. No need to throw it away when it can be used.
When the family got home we ate dinner. I was waiting for someone to ask me. I was surprised hubby didn't. Later, when I asked him if he was worried I may drink, he told me he never was concerned. He knew I wouldn't. I decided to embrace the fact he trusted me.
Friday, I decided to go to a ladies night. Free food and wine tastings. Let me tell you, I don't think there's anything that can get ladies more aggressive then food, wine and shopping! I went with a friend who knew I wasn't drinking. She was considerate enough that she wasn't going to drink, but I insisted I was okay. I was quite fortunate, the water and punch line was a lot shorter then the wine line! My friend and I had a good laugh at some of the ladies that spent their entire time getting back in line for more. The lady pouring even told them to try a different wine next time, it was a wine tasting after all. At one time, I probably would have been one of those ladies. Activities like these normally amped up my anxiety, the crowds and the cattiness. I thought I handled it quite well. Found a tasty punch and could drive home.
Last night was our neighborhood party. I had worried about if I was going to want to participate since the invite arrived. I was so worried everyone would be asking why I wasn't drinking. I was concerned it would bother me not being able to join in and that I would feel left out.
Since my husband was planning on not drinking I was a little more relaxed about the whole thing. I was ready to say I had a migraine if things got too much. I never felt the need. The first stop was more about the appetizers and games, then the drinks. Next up almost felt like a frat party trying to get started. Irish car bombs and shots. Had fun laughing at the others and actually helped pour the shots. Honestly, I was thankful I wasn't taking part. The idea of beer, whiskey and vodka before being halfway done with the night…well I would have been sick for sure. Dinner was served at the next house and the basketball games were on, so I didn't feel the focus was on me at all. Last stop boozy desserts. I didn't have any. Honestly, this stop was the hardest for me, more so because I was ready to go home. No one seemed smashed, but there were a few who seemed on their way. I just wanted to get home to see the last of basketball and sleep!
Did I have any regrets? Not at all. I was already hurting Sunday from my arthritis. Lord knows it would have been worse had I indulged in the drinking. I felt slightly refreshed after waking up early and knew a hangover wasn't gonna be an excuse for laying on the couch.
Looking back the only part that made me nervous was trusting that my name didn't come up in conversation afterwards or before I arrived at the party. I really didn't want my non drinking be a topic of conversation. It bothered me briefly, but then I decided that if they needed to talk, let them talk. I'm happy with where I am and where I'm going.
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