I Am Fine.

I am fine. Please don't think otherwise. Don't judge me, don't think I'm hiding, don't think I'm struggling, don't think I'm drinking, don't think that I don't care about my friendships. Please understand I am okay, and I do care. I just need to take care of me. 

I feel like disconnecting a bit. I'm tired of social media right now, sick of reading political crap from both sides of the fence, want to enjoy peace and quietness. I may not be commenting or liking posts, or making posts. All the same, I am fine and I do care what's going on, I just may not be checking as much. 

I work. I'm putting in more hours at work with the same amount of commitments, if not more, after work. I am fine. I am happy. I need to do things for myself to keep me this way. I am sorry if that scares or upsets you, but I truly need to put myself first. 

I am wanting to be there for my mom and dad more. The next few months are going to get busier. My mom's going to need more assistance, as is my dad. I need to prepare for this and not wait until last minute to have my act together. I will do this. 

I want to get healthier, both mentally and physically. This will take time and commitment. I need to make time to do this. I want to make sure my family and I are eating healthier. I want to exercise. It doesn't mean I don't want to talk or text, I just may not right away. I need to make time to exercise, read and write for my sanity, and to be pleasant towards others! 

I want to make time to reconnect with my husband. We have been so busy being parents, working and learning to adjust to our new life; sobriety and half-way empty house, we want to spend more time together. Funny, we are discovering we actually still like each other :)

I hope you understand. I will put myself first. I will do all I said. I will still text, talk and visit, but I will need to do it on my time for right now. Let me figure out how to put myself first and still be able to be a good wife, mother, daughter and friend. I promise I still care and will be there for you. I just have to be there for myself, too. I am not struggling in sobriety. I am living. Please understand. I appreciate everyone in my life, and I want to appreciate myself, too.