Turn this heater off!!!

So seriously need to vent!  I am sitting under the heater at the salon getting color added for the first time in a loooong time and I so have a desire to just go chill with a beer. I hate this inner voice telling me to just do it and see how I feel. My anxiety is ampted under this thing. I'm feeling claustrophobic and just want to relax. It's a gorgeous day out and I could sit out on the patio of a favorite bar and grill and enjoy a cold beer. Damn it sounds so awesome right now!!! I hate this thing!!!

Then there's the logical thought of why after 250 plus days would I want to and what would it really lead to? I so wanna believe it wouldn't lead to relapse. Hell it would be relapse in some people's eyes. Could I stop at one or two and not do it again? Can't I just have one sip? Why don't I crave soda or anything else like this? I've been doing awesome with cravings and then BAM!  

Alright there's my vent! I want a drink and will romantasize about having one until this damn heater stops!!! After that I will pray I like the color chosen cuz I don't think I could fake it tonight if I don't!!